downtownsnob

Snow Day!

Downtown is closed.

Wait a minute. Downtown is never closed.

Despite 7" of white fluffy mess (with a good 1" of slippery ice in the center), downtowners are still out and about. Refusing to be pent up in their tiny houses (and refusing to dig out their completely buried cars), they're on foot, on sled, and on stoop assessing the situation.

Five most common downtown responses to a blizzard:

1. Walk to the grocery. Even if you don't need anything, it can't hurt to lay in an extra bottle of wine and maybe some stinky cheese. Plus, you look smashing in that scarf and you need to get some feedback on the new boots.


2. See how far you can walk a small dog before it disappears in the snow. Hey, we walk their fancy pants in the city parks all summer - we get to make fun of them being chin-deep in snow at least once a winter. It's a fair trade.


3. Smoke on the stoop. What better venue to chat up neighbors about the massive inconvenience this beautifully misspent day will create for us all. (And, figure out what walking-distance bars might be open later ... say, 6sih)


4. Make excuses not to shovel. It will melt. No one else shovels. There's ice under there. 


5. Go sledding in Schiller Park. Sure, it's a baby hill. And, all you have is a snowboard. But what better way to get a runny nose and feel like you earned a little full-calorie cocoa.

Downtown crowd braves the snow for Ailey II

I'm just back from the Capital Theater where Ailey II brought their touring troupe of modern dancers to hundreds of Alvin Ailey devotees more than willing to brave the snarled, snowy traffic and genuinely dreadful Riffe Center parking for a night of ... well, simply inspiring, sometimes gravity-defying, dance.

Due to an injury, the program changed just before the show - swapping out new work for favorite classics. To the delight of the crowd. The final piece was Relevations. Perhaps the troupe's best known work, rife with spiritual urgency and exaltation. It received a standing (mittened) ovation.

The middle work was Cry. A 16-minute interlude centered on a flowing white dress wrapped around an intense, muscled illusion of a dancer. The music was classic Ailey - an ardent composition by Alice Coltrane and others.

The first piece was more current. A spirited, stylish celebration; with memories of the church; delivered with the rough movements that leap ballet to deliver "modern" at it most playful.

All and all, an unforgettable night.

Three weird and weirdly addictive Columbus foods

Go ahead, make the shocking order. The one that will prompt everyone else at the table to say – you’re going to eat THAT? Go beyond the thai chili ice cream (easy), the deep-fried pickles (come on, anything deep fried is edible) or the vegan pot roast sandwich (close runner up). When you’re ready to try food you’ll think twice before biting into, order this:

• Mine: Okonomiyaki: Savory chicken and cabbage filled pancakes drizzled with Japanese mayonnaise at Zen Cha in the Short North. Addictively good.


• Mark Hillman’s: Mildred's sauerkraut balls at Barley's. Both fun to say and eat. There’s some competition for the best balls in Columbus, though. Natives swear by the deep-fried sauerkraut at Hey, Hey.


• Jay Schmidt’s: The turtle soup at Old Mohawk. A house specialty so special they’ve made turtles part of the scenery and the décor. Personally, I go there for Quesadilla Tuesday, but if you’re of hardy spirit – there’s no better choice than soup from a hard shell. 
  

Three new Columbus business lunch destinations

If you entertain or network during the noon hour, you probably have a favorite dish at Lindeys, a special order at Mitchells, and a seat-winning strategy at North Star. As tasty as these business lunch favorites are, sometimes you just want something DIFFERENT.

Three new places to try:

Very casual: El Arepazo. It's a little Venezuelan hole in the wall back in Pearl Alley. In the summer, lunching there is a great opportunity to stroll the yummy Pearl Alley farmers market before noshing on plantains, sopes and empanadas. In the winter, its an unexpected getaway and an easy walk through the brick backstreets of downtown.

I recommend: Patacon, a feast of pulled meat (chicken, beef or pork) and veggies over a whole, ripe plantain.

Flexible: Shane's Gourmet Market. Although they're known for grand catering, the good people at Shane's are willing to make lunch just for you, too. The space is very relaxing. A gourmet food counter, upscale deli and wine shop on the south side and a number of comfortable cafe tables on the north. The menu of meals, sandwiches, salads and wraps is enormous and they're happy to custom create just about anything you can think up. Order at the counter, but, no worries, you can get to work - they'll bring your grub over.

I recommend: Chicken salad wrap. Sure, it's simple, but they make it fresh with almonds and fruit every day. And, they're the one place that seems to have juicy tastes-like-tomato tomatoes on hand even when it's snowing outside.

Almost no one in jeans: Blackcreek Bistro. Once a dive bar, then a neighborhood destination, the eclectic space on the corner of Parsons and Oak is now home to the consummate local eatery. The owner of Blackcreek is a farmer. One who brings heirloom vegetables and herbs, locally-raised meat and all manner of seasonal favorites right from his farm to the table. The food is both upscale and homemade. Once you start going, you'll be addicted.

I recommend: The special. Extra love and care goes into their always-good featured soups and dishes. In doubt? The bistro salad with rich creamy dressing and tasty beets in always a winner.

A few categories missing from CU's Best of Columbus

I am a sucker for "best of" lists. Crowdsourced reviews of the year gone by. A city-wide I [heart] list of events and places.

But, always, I want to add my own categories - the extra things in need of applause or judgment. Here are a few of my 2008 favorites:

• Best microbrew: Columbus Brewing Company's Apricot Ale


• Best server: Toss up- Derrick at Easy Street or Dan at Due Amici


• Best holiday event: Village Lights in German Village


• Best yard sale: Victorian Village


• Best brunch: Due Amici


• Best brunch cocktail: Sage American Bistro (nearly any from lengthy mimosa menu)


• Best chocolatier:  Daniel at Pure Imagination


• Best Flickr event: March snowstorm


• Best community response: Race for the Cure


• Best make-good of a would-be disaster: Mud slides and mud body paint at rainy Comfest


• Best response to the wicked hot summer: Mist fans at Park Street


• Best pre-movie advertisement: Easy Street (Yay, George!)


• Best grilled cheese sandwich: (I know you're thinking Bodega, but I swear:) Blackcreek Bistro


• Best comfort food update: Deep fried cheese curds at Brothers


• Best carb: Raisin-walnut bread at Katzingers


• Best dairy: Jeni's Crème Fraîche with Amarena Cherries (come on, get over the salty carmel already)
  


• Best produce: Honey Crisp apples from the Greener Grocer


• Best commercial art: Toss up: PBR consumer-generated campaign or Wegman's glorious weimaraners draped all over downtown


• Best shocking local news photo: Cars washed up onto the sidewalks of German Village after that first brutal rainstorm this summer


• Best store concept: Wine, pet food and dog clothes at The Dog Works


• Best cupcake flavor: Buckeye at Bakery Gingham

What's the real Walker Evans Effect?

Walker Evans may be Columbus' ultimate downtown cool kid. Sure, Matt runs the edgy theater; Alaina has that blog we can't stop reading; Mike is the face of Indie; Liz opens the most popular restaurants. But no one can quite garner the attention of this ColumbusUnderground guru.

Walker remains the guy everyone claims to know. The name mentioned in the remarks of leaders and in the chatter of hipsters. The government guys drop his name to hint at a certain street savvy - they know the pulse of the urbanists. The 30-something crowd infers effortless acquaintance - oh, you know Walker, right? The 20-somethings invite him to speak to their professional organizations, ready to learn what they can before fully hatching their plans to dethrone him.

But, how many people can Walker really know? To find out, I challenge you downtowners to this - take a look at this Walker Evans Effect checklist and find out if you can really claim to know the cool kid. Every statement you say YES to, gets you one point toward your WEE Factor.

• I read ColumbusUnderground.com
• I regularly comment or add content to ColumbusUnderground.com
• I know what CU originally started as
• I went to high school / college with the guy
• I know at least three personal details about Walker - like his kids name, high school mascot and favorite cupcake flavor
• I've attended programs or events that Walker has spoken at
• I've introduced myself one-on-one to Walker
• I've had coffee with Walker (and fewer than 6 other people)
• I've served on a committee with Walker
• I'm reasonably confident that Walker would remember my name if I ran into him downtown
• I'm reasonably confident that Walker would remember my name if I ran into him in Canada
• I have proof that Walker remembers my name ... or at least my handle
• He's tagged me in a Facebook photo
• He introduced me to my wife / husband
• I'm a regular at CU Meetups
• I've played kickball with Walker
• I've been to Walker's place (and, no, realtor open houses don't count)
• I am wildly passionate about streetcars - and, frankly that should count for something

Your WEE Factor:
0 - 5 points: Let's be honest - you're kind of a Walker Stalker, right?
6 - 11 points:  You're at least Facebook friends. And, that's almost like a real friend, right?
12+ points: Ok, so you definitely know him. Heck, you might even have gone to the prom with him.