ideas

Highlights and Lowlights from the Four Days of Thanksgiving:

Thanksgiving Eve:

Lowlight: What’s the opposite of “making good time”? Oh, yeah, making a 3-hour trip in 6½ hours! Columbus is a MSA leader in the loss of 25- to 39-year olds. So most of the people my age who live here are not from here. Combine that with OSU classes running through Wednesday afternoon and the road out of town that night closely resembled a parking lot. The first 10 miles clocked in at an hour-and-a-half. After zipping along at a speedy 45-mph for another hour, an accident closed the road down again.

Highlight: This is a random one, but getting rear-ended in traffic was pretty interesting. A (likely-) college kid was stopped behind us in the second traffic jam. He must have let off the brake because – slam! He smacked into the Raus’ back bumper hard. I had two nervous kittens on my lap who looked at me as if I had betrayed them. Getting out to exchange info, it was clear that forgiveness was the only option – the kid’s father was in the passenger seat and he’s the one who got out to chat. Can you imagine rear-ending someone in stand-still traffic with your dad in the car just before spending a long weekend at his place? Luckily the Raus is an old car and the damage was tiny – so we were happy to say Happy Thanksgiving and resume the wait. The highlight is making that kids holiday eminently happier!

Thanksgiving Day:
Lowlight: Waiting, waiting, waiting for Sister to get home so that we could eat the turkey. Usually we eat around 2, but she got a slightly late start and we had to w a i t until 4! Ah – I had turkey on the brain!

Highlight: Turkey, obviously, turkey! The entire meal was delicious – I was looking forward to leftovers before I even finished the last bite. Kudos, Dad House!

Day After Thanksgiving – morning / afternoon:
Lowlight: Missed an excellent opportunity to eat a breakfast turkey sandwich (don’t worry, I made up for it) and was starving thoughout shopping adventure

Highlight: Despite her small size, Sister is an interesting cross of a linebacker and Moses inside a shopping mall. Normally, the worst thing about shopping for me is the crowds – all those people pressing against each other, jostling, pushing – yuck! But with sister, I just follow a few steps behind her and even on the busiest shopping day of the year we sail smoothly through the crowds like we’re the only ones there. 

Day After Thanksgiving – evening:Lowlight: Ouch, sore nose. I’m very allergic to my dad’s house – something about mold and crawlspaces, but by this time the itchy eyes, constant sneezing and fitful sleep were starting to get to me.

Highlight: Great dinner with mom – tasty chili, yummy dessert and good conversation.
 

Day After the Day After
Lowlight: Riding around the windy, hilly roads of Western PA in the back seat of Dad’s car – did I mention he think he’s a race car driver and there were three of us in the back?

Highlight: A fun evening with the Dad House crew and Auntie and Andrea. Good stories and a fun dinner + getting to check out Auntie’s new digs.

Sunday Trip Home
Lowlight: The excitement of traveling with the herd (two cats and a dog) had definitely worn off – their fussy whining was no long amusing

Highlight: Made it home in around 3 hours!

 

Top Sightings:

A fat, fuzzy, delightful donkey on a rope-leash in someone’s front lawn
Chickens actually crossing the road
A cow-crossing sign, like this one
One desperate driver careening across a couple of lanes when the traffic jam let up, only to barely make it out of his car before relieving himself all over the shoulder
And, lots of bizarre things from the strangest place I’ve ever been … but that’s a story for tomorrow!

 

Thanksgiving Pics

On a lighter note, I’m back from an extended holiday weekend with the parents and sib.

Here’s a quick pictorial recap of some of the players.

1. Because I have no pride when it comes to leftovers and because I, too, marvel at the architectural wonder of my day-after Turkey sandwiches, I let my dad take this lovely picture. The layers I’m trying to open my mouth wide enough to munch are turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, cranberries, lettuce, cheddar cheese and mayo – all on a tasty bakery roll. Delicious!
2. Next up, we have sister and I going all “What Not to Wear” on Mom by taking sample outfit pictures for her at the mall.
3. Off to Mom’s. Here’s she’s scooping chili – a delicious tomatoy concoction. Sister and I dunked half a loaf of buttered bread in the yummy juice before returning the remains of meat and beans :o)
4. Still at Mom’s. This is her fiancé Joe. Also note the tasty apple-cake pie in the background.
5. Hanging out in Auntie’s family room (that might be “rumpus room” in PA-speak), Andrea (dad’s girlfriend) and Auntie Sharon are chatting away. Auntie is looking fabulous – yet another member of the Householder clan who actually looks better as she gets older (hoping I have that gene!)
6. On the other side of the couch, that’s me, dad and sister fighting over the loungiest seat. I think dad fixed his own “red eye” on this one – he looks a bit like a pirate in the eyes.
7. Jim hiding out in the next room, beating up a pinball or two.
8. Miss Willie angry as hell over her unplanned relocation.
9. Bug playing some music on packing day.
10. And, finally, Sister engaged in her favorite part of the holidays – lounging about watching tv or otherwise relaxing.

Al-Zawahri asks for mutual exchange of respect

While the U.S. military – backed by the threats and grandstanding of our politicians – continues to attack Iraqi cities and otherwise occupy the countryside, Bin Laden’s top lieutenant issued what strikes me as one of the most logical statements heard in foreign relations this year.

Egyptian-born Ayman Al-Zawahri urged the American people to deal with Muslims "with respect and exchange and based on an exchange of mutual interests."

He went on to say that they will continue fighting the United States until Washington changes its foreign policies. He said that invading Iraq was only an introduction to what the Muslim nations might be subjected to by the U.S.…

Although his statement included some mockery and what were clearly threats, his main message (that you attack our innocents and we will attack yours) seems as clear and consistent as human motivations get.

At some point our arrogant leaders will have to accept that they cannot supplant other nations’ histories and belief systems by force. These men and women we call “terrorists” are soldiers just as our own; fighting to protect their way of life, just like our soldiers are…

We assume that our votes hold little consequence and make selections based on single issues or notions of commonality. These so-called terrorists are holding us responsible for the actions of our leaders – just as we hold the innocent civilians of Iraq responsible by destroying their cities and killing their neighbors, all in the name of our gods over theirs.

My advice to our leaders? Listen to people who disagree with you. Find out why before you assign “wrong” to difference.  And, if you’re going to parade God out to justify your decisions, consider acting a little more Christ-like and a little less like a warrior in the Crusades.

Happy Thanksgiving

On this the day of our Thanksgiving, I suggest we give thanks to that wonderful creation that has truly made our decadent, indulgent meals possible:

To America's cows and butter churners, I raise a toast - to your flaky pie crusts, sticky stuffing, perfectly browned turkeys, syrupy sweet potatoes, the rich icing you add to a warm dinner roll, and your unashamed, monstrous fat content! We thank you -

Obesity mortality grossly exaggerated

Old media have been shouldering bloggers with a bad rap lately - saying that we are little more than irresponsible rumor-mongers. Well, here's one that this blogger and others got right way back in May.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention admitted yesterday that its widely publicized estimate that 400,000 Americans die each year from being too fat is wrong and that it will submit a new, lower figure to the medical journal that published its original estimate last March.  

400,000? That statistic and the much more widely circulated 300,000 number are proof of just how easy it is to roll out a campaign designed to instill fear without any significant public scrutiny.

Consider this:

Over half a year ago, Glenn Gaesser, a professor at the University of Virginia pointed out that studies have consistently failed to find any correlation between increasing BMI (America's standard for “fat”) and higher mortality in people 65 and over.

Deaths in the 65+ set account for 78% of the approximately 2.3 million annual deaths in the US each year.

That leaves 500,000 annual deaths in persons under 65 that might be related to spreading waist lines. These include deaths from every possible cause: motor vehicle and other accidents, homicides, suicides, cigarettes, alcohol, microbial agents, toxic agents, drug abuse, etc, etc. We are supposed to believe that 60 - 80% of these deaths are due to fat?

Did any major media so much as question the statistic before they started assembling Sweeps packages on the hidden danger in your refrigerator? Not that I heard.

Maybe if that same statistic had come from the makers of a weight loss drug or a new fitness machine, there would have been at least cursory curiosity about the methodology. But, for some reason, we as a country tend to accept even the scariest, most unlikely pronouncements from nonprofits, assuming, I suppose, that they are Good and Well Intentioned. The truth is that these non-profits need money just like everyone else. They are staffed by People just like those big, scary corporations. On deadline, needing a grant to keep your job, trying desperately to reach a certain benchmark ... well, before you even add personal conviction into it, those are the same motivations that make us question business sources...

I'll leave you with this: Dan Rather effectively lost his job for not asking tough enough questions on one story. Meanwhile, nearly every media outlet in the country passed this and lots of other fear stats onto the public without question.

Hi Mom, we're home to fix your computer!

This week's Newsweek column by Bob Stone chronicles what might be the single, unifying experience of our generation: fixing our folks gadgets. He calls us "Generation Tech Support":

Next week, millions of college students and young professionals will head home for the Thanksgiving holidays. We’ll sit with our families in warm, candle-lit dining rooms eating stuffed turkey, reminiscing over old photographs, preparing holiday shopping lists and … Please. Let’s be frank. We are going home to fix our parents' computers.

Forget the generational tags you’ve already heard, like Gen X and Gen Y. We are the Tech-Support Generation. Our job is to troubleshoot the complex but imperfect technology that befuddle mom and dad, veterans of the rotary phone, the record player and the black-and-white cabinet television set. Next week, on our annual pilgrimage home, we’ll turn our Web-trained minds and joystick-conditioned fingers to the task of rescuing our parents from bleeding-edge technology on the blink.

I absolutely love this column -  Read more.

Being Unemployed is Better Than…

Monday is my first official day of unemployment – everything up until now has been a prelude, notice of my changing demographic. Even though the interviews are going well and freelance opps are on the horizon, I couldn’t help but engage in a little morbid thinking about the slew of vocations folks will be trudging off to Monday morning that are infinitely less appealing than a little stretch of unemployment:

This all started listening to my favorite radio program (yes, I know, I am a retro girl). Last week’s This American Life featured stories about crime, including Nancy Updike’s immersion interview with Neal Smither, a shyster who might make a used car salesman blush and a cleaner of every gruesome manner of crime scene and other instances of human gore. Of course we know that people die in unfortunate circumstances – murders, suicides, the solitary death of an old woman in a house of cats. But, once the cops and medical examiners pack up the bodies and tear down the tape, who cleans up the remains of, well, the remains? Answer? Guys like Neal. A slew of laws and regulations prevent even gutsy family members from toiling in their loved ones bio-hazardous waste. So, Neal brings in a team for a complimentary quote and immediate cleaning. In one anecdote, he remembered a sludge of intestinal goop so covered with maggots that he could actually hear their gooey movements.

Gross? Certainly. But also interesting because Neal was an unemployed stock trader who saw that nasty cleanup scene in Pulp Fiction and, apparently, found his calling. He’s been bleaching blood for four years and is getting relatively rich in the process.  You can hear his story here – jump ahead to minute 8:40 to skip the opening act.

[Oh, and, yes, I’m avoiding movies until I’m on more certain employment footing]

Neal is not exactly an exception when it comes to the grisly gigs in science and medicine.

Consider some of the highlights from Popular Science’s Worst Jobs in Science:

There’s the Anal Wart Researcher: Yeah, you thought nursing was already twisted enough, what with the bed pans, disease and vials of blood, but nurse practitioner Naomi Jay one-ups all of that in her research on sexually transmitted anal diseases. All day long, she examines butts, searching for warts. And, finds them in about 1/3 of her daily specimens. That, my office cliché addicts, is really “hands on.”

Then there are the animal-loving veterinarian students who veer into research where they spend their days making animals sick to test various theories and devices. And, then euthanize their fuzzy friends at the end of each project. OUCH. Alcoholism, anyone?

From the heart-breaking, to the merely DISGUSTING…

Tampon squeezing. Apparently one of the least invasive ways to gather specimens for research on vaginal infections is collecting used tampons. And, the best way to extract? Manual squeezing. Ug.

Looking for a work environment that’s hot, full of bears and covers you with bugs? Be a tick catcher, just make sure you keep making enough noise to scare off the bigger beasts nearby. For not much more money than you could make flipping burgers, these Lyme Disease researchers head out into sweaty, swampy woods, dragging a rank blanket behind them to catch the pesky ticks. Their break? Stopping to tweeze the pests into jars. Weee!


What have we learned here? Some gigs just don’t warrant a fresh pair of khakis. Hit the snooze button, call your recruiter in the afternoon.

Red State Values

Here's a quiz:

1. A hurricane is approaching your southern state, what is the top-selling product at your local Walmart?
(a) Duct tape (b) Flashlights (c) Strawberry Pop Tarts (d) Beer

2. Texas is home to which of the flowing:
(a) The country’s first drive-thru liquor stores (b) Lots of kids who received shotguns as birthday presents (c) Pharmacists who deny strangers prescription birth control based on “their own values” (d) All of above

3. Speaking of the defense of marriage, since 1960, the heterosexual divorce rate has:
(a) Decreased by 20% (b) Stayed about the same (c) Increased by 20% (d) Doubled

4. Which is considered a contemporary "moral issue"?
(a) Divorce law reform (b) Temperance (c) Promoting honesty through additional tax audits (d) Cracking down on white collar crime (e) Fussing over what goes on in someone else's relationship / bedroom

5. How many couples marrying (for the first time) this year will have lived together prior to the big day?
(a) Almost none (b) 10% (c) 25% (d) More than half

6. Not counting weddings and funerals, how many Americans go to church weekly?
(a) 90% (b) 72% (c) 59% (d) 38%

7. Compared to the entire population, the church attendance rate among self-described Catholics is:
(a) 20% less (b) 50% higher (c) 200% higher (d) Exactly the same
 

Answers:

If you answered D to all these questions, you are correct.

What’s my point?
The truth is that calling Red Staters “stupid” accomplishes little more than solidifying our own repute as elitist liberals. But, still, there is much to understand here. Snopes verification of a certain storied H. L. Mencken quote started me thinking about all this again:

"As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron." — H. L. Mencken 

Forget the moron comment, it’s extraneous. Think “plain folks of the nation.” My take on Red States is this: People want to feel good about their lives; they want to do the right thing. That can be difficult – what with guns, alcohol, loose and free translations of the tax code; all-too-available office supplies; flirting, whatever. Old-style prohibitions against dancing, gambling, cussing, etc., are difficult to integrate into modern life. Instead, we pick issues that don’t touch our lives. Heterosexuals defend marriage by persecuting commited homosexual couples instead of reforming their own divorce laws. Parents, priests and the comfortably middle-aged fight to deny choice to women, no matter what the circumstance of age, income or abuse. Men who have owned guns since their 8^th birthdays and drove home drunk from Friday night poker games with their pals, rail on about things like piercings and cleavage and sins not their own. “Plain folks” invoke the name of God even as they wander off to brunch buffets and golf courses on Sunday mornings. 

Essentially, people want to own the moral high-ground, but track toward the issues that don’t require much of them. The challenge is to change those issues. Instead of being the hypocrisy that’s trumpeted from the pulpit, we need to direct empathy / concern / anger at the issues that truly impact “plain folks”: health care, education, unemployment, etc. Ensuring that Americans have access to affordable health care, a fair and challenging education and access to appropriate employment choices are surely as moral of issues as who can engage in committed, life-long, supporting relationships.

 WE need to change the debate. This country is our’s to lose.

Other notes:
If you answered C to the first question, you were close – Strawberry Pop Tart sales increase 7x before hurricanes – indicating that maybe those “toasting” instructions on that back aren’t so crucial. Bite ’em raw, I say. Here’s an article about Walmart’s tracking of your purchases… 

The comprehensive results of the 2003 ABC poll on religion offer more insights on who attends church and how men screw up the curve. Read more here.

 

 

Thank you

Certainly there are few celebrities that embody “cheesy” more than Miss Oprah Winfrey. Yet, even the most unlikely sources offer some sincerely wise advice every now and again. Sweaty with fever and flu one morning, I was laid out on the couch listening to her talk about the value of being grateful, and how listing the things that you are thankful for each day is eminently good for the human spirit. I couldn’t agree more and have been lax in not mentioning the people who have gone out of their way to help me lately…

I know I will forget someone if I try to mention everyone; so, please take these as the samples that they are and know that I am sincerely thankful to everyone who helped me.

o There were the truly reassuring phone calls from Eriks and others when they read about the layoffs
o An old client and CEO is pulling together freelance opportunities and looking toward hiring me full time
o A delightful HR manager remembered me from my last job search and fast-tracked me into a great interview opportunity
o Barbara Silk, a favorite mentor, gave me a glowing recommendation
o So did Matt Malone, an endlessly fun co-worker
o There was an amazingly flattering phone call from a recruiter at Google, following up on my resume, which she received from Chris DiBona - someone connected to me only through blogging
o And, the small world connections, like the Alison Bolen who happened across my blog looking for information on a common friend and recommended me as a freelancer to her co-workers
o A remarkable near-client in northern Ohio called his MBA friends, wanting to help me find a new start
o A consultant who likely saw me during a career low was one of the first to step in and offer help
o Several near-strangers are passing my resume around and so are several good friends
o A consultant who I hadn’t heard from in months read about the layoff and called to tell me how essential I was to this organization
o Lots of people firmly believe that I could run my own business (too bad I’m not one of them!)
o My best friends listened to me talk…
o My dad only said “now that you’re an Unemployed Person” once ;o)
o My sister offered concern and then talked to me about Christmas presents – a perfect assumption that I’ll get through this just fine and everything will be the same
o My mother offered me a loan if needed (And, I get to be further thankful that it’s not)
o Jennifer McCullum, my HR savvy neighbor, helped me write (ok, wrote for me) a letter that appropriately documents the layoff for insurance purposes
o Tina and Jeremy Hughes are sending the best banana bread – surely, good for any soul
o Shauna Merriman and Rebecca, my pottery class instructor and the coordinator at the Arts Annex, sent truly thoughtful emails
o Lots of people offered good ideas or leads or advice
o Others have offered me great references and kind words

And there’s more to be thankful for, too….
o I have two second interviews in my second week of unemployment, one that went on half the day, at an agency with an amazing group of people
o I have the opportunity to interview for what is basically my dream job tomorrow
o A local recruiter is already calling with ideas
o And, with any luck, I’ll get to move into a position that’s more appropriate to my experience and take with me all that I learned here…

Not bad for a woman laid off in a state hemorrhaging jobs in the always-difficult fourth quarter right after President ‘who cares about unemployment?” Bush was re-elected…

That, my friends, is a big load of sunshine for you today :o)

Bleary-Eyed

 

Omigosh, that looks so good. I want to collapse on a giant beach ball with my feet dangling in warmed-from-the-sun sand. Maybe there could be a convenient sunset or a delightful puppy to further wander into la-la land … obviously there would be a crisp chardonnay nearby and any number of seashells to scoop up along the shore.

 I am exhausted. These last two weeks at my soon-to-be-former gig have been rough on the psyche.(1)  Although I generally handle stress very well (an occasional headache is the worst, really), this is a whole new kind of stress. The looming specter of unemployment is call for every sort of planning, of equating, of guessing. How far will money stretch, how can I control household expenses, what can I do for freelance, who haven’t I networked / asked / called, what will I do all day if I don’t WORK (ok, well that last one is the easiest, of course)?

 Stress rarely affects my sleep. In fact, I am something of a narcoleptic between the hours of 10 and 6. I have fallen asleep during movies, car rides, and, on a few unfortunate occasions, during conversations. I have a well known affection for sleep – I could list 20 things that I love about my bed (2)  I am practically a sleep gourmet. I adore warm, fluffy blankets, squishy pillows, cool sheets; waking up early enough to know that there is still time to sleep; the delicious moment when I am completely relaxed and drifting off. I rarely require an alarm clock to wake up and even more rarely require anything at all to fall asleep. Until now, of course (is the all-too-obvious subtext).

 These past two weeks, my neck has been like a steel rod of stressed muscles (in part due to my leaning into the computer, seeking the happy ending) and falling asleep requires a complex combination of counting backwards and self hypnosis (your toes are getting sleepy … your feet …). Then, I toss and turn with unremembered nightmares and wake up at 3 AM – exhausted and not-at-all sleepy.

Some of my friends in Chicago who lost their jobs in 2002 or so were out-of-work for upwards of a year. If that happens to me, I’ll likely need to be institutionalized for severe sleep deprivation… kind of a funny picture – me in a straightjacket, babbling at a nurse that I need something a little more challenging than grocery store paperbacks to read.

A much more optimistic post (as there is reason for optimism) coming very soon … tomorrow morning, in fact. To all a good night –

*(This is a David-Foster-Wallace-length footnote. I take complete creative license as I am wallowing in self indulgence this week, and probably next. Then, I plan to get it completely together and take on the world again. Anyway, on with the footnote…)

(1) I understand why most companies give severance instead of notice – no matter how good your intentions are, it is really difficult to work around a group of people who effectively have taken away my only source of income, but apparently love the work I do (to the point of arguing over who gets to be my reference) and want me to magically imbue all my best qualities and teach all my best techniques to the survivors. That is a tall order. I do marketing strategy, writing, presentations … how do you teach someone to think like you? To write like you? To work like you? Let alone, how does someone who has been winning public speaking accolades since she was in her early teens teach someone else how to handle an audience, give an extemporaneous presentation, comfortably answer questions? Even with the excellent skills I learned from Barbara and Sue Silk, all I can offer is tools and techniques – practice takes, well, practice. And, my dedication to deadlines, my take on people, my ability to balance lots of projects … these, are not teachable things. It’s frustrating on one hand and thrilling on the other – I don’t want them to fail, certainly, but on the other hand, it’s gratifying to know that I am much, much more than a job description, that what I bring to an organization can’t be handed off in a manual or a week of training sessions. Still, as I was pitching a huge telecom today, I couldn’t help but think I would miss it … software sales and marketing are about so much more than functionality, they are about the possibilities of the human imagination, they are creativity and shared knowledge working toward  improving the quality of work or life … it is, quite simply, fun.

(2) Long ago, in Athens (Ohio University), I had the distinct pleasure of working with Chris Stewart, an English major and college enthusiast. We had rather boring jobs at the time, lots of opportunities to doodle or chat while waiting on hold. He wrote the silliest poems, including one that I think of once a month. A brilliant set of verses that began, “Oh bed how you mock me so, but to work and school I must go….”