bella: flattery

of course he would choose your sister. at once the most cruel and flattering of betrayals.

he would choose you again. the way he remembers you. before the lines on your face, the passionless quarrels. the brutal intimacy of a shared life.

he'd still eat your mother’s bitter apple pie. and, wash the already spotlessly clean cars with your father, even out in the snow.

of course he’d choose all your shared mistakes again.

but just now, just for a while, without the struggles and silent condemnations. with that sweet, lulling attraction. with the ringing laughter, that sound you’ve so long forgotten.

the same, but not the same. a few years gape widely between you – one remembering awkward dinner conversation and hand-me-down clothes. the other a teenager after the great shift, part of the naked intimacy of loss and fear.

it shows. they all see it. decades later, one achingly uncomfortable in every interaction, tilting at empathy and settling somewhere closer to obligation. the other full of casual grace, the center of the conversation, the lips that smile easily, the life everyone knows.

but there are still these things you share. the stories, the people, the gestures. he knows. there lies at once familiarity and whimsical strangeness.

for the love and hate of you. of course he would choose her.

Comments

[Michael Gannotti]

Wow...

As I see this post was quite a while ago I hope the pain you were obviously suffering has eased.