Getting to Know You

I've lost interest in repetitive daytime TV, screaming hair bands and the voyeuristic memoirs of addicts. But I am certainly not without guilty pleasures. Chief among them: women's magazines. Preferably accompanied by chocolate and chardonnay (despite their content focus on fitness and nutrition). From Self to Real Simple to O, none are too ingratiatingly obvious for a quiet night at home under a big blanket.

My favorite (you may know as this is certainly not the first time I've gone on about it) is Real Simple. It is gorgeous. And, full of real voices that occasionally do more than lay on the pretty pages.

I'll let you know how the mac-and-cheese recipe and framing ideas work out, but, for now, onto my favorite article in the November edition...

Getting to Know You

It's premise is that we can spend a lifetime of holidays and sunday dinners talking with our relatives about baseball games, menus and injuries without ever really coming to know them. We can feel close to near strangers.

So, Real Simple put together a list of questions - our lives in an evening. The short cut to intimacy.

Raised on Cosmo quizzes and distant relationships, I am naturally predisposed to love this list.

So, I'm Download questions.pdf . Taking it with me. And, answering it all myself, too. This is the record of me as I am now. I won't get through it all in one post and I certainly won't start with childhood as the list does (geez, gotta ramp up here, editors), but, still ... some answers from me now. And, answers from some of my loved ones soon...

Work (Leigh, 2005)

What was your first job, and how did you get it?
Waitressing at 15 in a stinky dinner in a strip mall anchored by a hardware store. I think my dad drove me in to ask about a job. I walked up to the old Greek who ran the place, nervously asked him about it and he hired me. No applications or paperwork. Just a punch card - $2/hour + tips. BYOA - bring your own apron. My mother sewed mine. Two short black ones with pockets. They, like the rest of my clothes, reeked by the end of my shift.

I worked at a counter, near the short-order grill. Bacon, onions, beefy smells. Mostly I poured coffee. For the same cast of ten or so old men who drank the free refill all evening, talked with each other about old days, smoked cigarettes, flirted with the waitresses, and tipped me 50-cents hours later.

I cut lemons for iced tea, brewed coffee, delivered the occasional slice of pie or daily special slathered in gravy. I ate half a loaf of bread every night - warm, squishy white covered with butter. And, sometimes, several bowls of soup, but only when chicken bow tie was the special.

I made about $20/night. My dad drove me home with the windows down ('cause of the short order funk).  Even the money stank.

Once I stepped in a big pan of soup in the dark walk-in refrigerator. We served it anyway. The kitchen staff blared AC/DC all night. I broke no fewer than three coffee pots (full of boiling coffee). On Christmas eve, a couple came in at the last minute for open-faced turkey sandwiches. They tipped me $20. I was thrilled.

How did you decide what field to enter?
Decide, decide… hmmm. I’m not sure I decided or even that I’m really in a field. Currently I’m in advertising. Before that software. Before that PR. Before that security. I studied journalism in college. I picked that because teachers and adults of various kinds had always told me I was a good writer. And, I had the all-too-typical youthful desire to investigate, motivate, inspire.

I lost interest in journalism long before I finished the program. Long hours, poor pay, people with much greater ambition and desire than I would ever muster.

My first two career jobs were jobs of opportunity. I landed in marketing / advertising and would like to stay there because it feels comfortable to me. It’s creative and fun and rarely feels like work. It comes easily to me, yet can still be a challenge. No one’s life will be made greatly better or greatly worse by what I do. It is a career of the uncommitted. And, of the inspired.

Did your parents influence your approach to work or your choice of career?
My dad definitely did. No matter what job he had, he always had the jack-of-all-trades element to him – in the field, he was the one who could fix the computers; in management, he knew what to do when the roof leaked. You could go to my dad for anything – he never had just one role, never followed the letter of his job description. I’ve definitely picked that up. And, it’s kept me at small companies where everyone in entrepreneurial. Or should be.

But, too, he worked for the government his whole life. Same office. Every day. For decades. And as safe of a choice as that was – good benefits, retirement at 57, etc., -- it’s a path I could never follow.

My mother served more as a cautionary tale work-wise. She dropped out of college to help my dad finish. She stayed at home for years taking care of my sister and me. When she went back, there was so little opportunity. So much baggage for a working mother. Scary.

Was money a big factor for you?
Ha, no. Did I say I’m in advertising??

Was there one person—a mentor,maybe—who had a big impact on your working life?
Definitely: Barbara Silk. My first boss in Chicago. She gets a whole separate entry. With some answers to this list from her – coming soon!

Is there anything you think is absolutely crucial to success at work?
A sense of ownership. What I mean when I say entrepreneurial is  I feel personally responsible for group goals; I figure out how to do what needs done.

That has a sharper edge, too. A little perspective might be a much quicker route to success.

What was the best job you ever had? The worst?
My current job is the best – secretive boss and crazy financial pressures aside, it’s genuinely fun. I work with incredibly talented people, good clients, fun projects.

The worst job was … well, there was a year at my job at a security company that was very bad. My boss screamed; the work was impossible; I imagined quitting all day every day (would have but that there were no other opportunities in the little town I went to school in). The other years there were certainly better, though… And, I had the nearly the same experience for a year in Chicago five years later.

So, I’d say the worst was a summer gig at a going-out-of-business department store. The work ranged from standing around doing nothing for hours to trying to referee all out fights for $19.99 quilts in new sales bins.

When you were a kid, what did you imagine your adult life would be like? Did your career have any major turning points?
I had a poster of New York City in my bedroom. And, I always imagined that I would move there, wear all black clothes and write for the Wall Street Journal.

There were no major turning points, though – I just got comfortable elsewhere. I’ve never been one much driven by ambition. There are so many more interesting things than work in the world.

What were the best moments of your working life? Any lingering regrets?
I’m not sure I ever really thought of any best moments. I’ve surely been proud at client compliments or after great presentations. But, the best moments are really just the ones when I’m happy to be there, doing good work, engaged with a team … and, those don’t really net memorable stories.

As for regrets, I always regret my temper. And wish I could better leave my ego at home.

On balance, how did you like your chosen field?
Love it.

If you had it all to do over again, would you choose the same path?
If I had to do it all over again … I’d probably build software, but I think I’m a better person (more outgoing, more creative, more engaged) for the work I've done.

Comments

[Alison]

You could dedicate a whole blog to the asking and answering of these questions - and others like them, though you may have to do some recording & transcribing. Have fun!